Ciggy Ciggy!

Bear with me. I'm getting somewhere here.



My boss once told me, "Ciggy you really have a problem with consistency. If you can just get yourself together for a month, you'll get really far". Eh? I didn't take it seriously because at that time I thought it was just a crappy excuse to start a power talk. I was young then, (i still am now mind you) and all I can think of is, I don't want to do the same stuff I did yesterday - I would absolutely bore myself to death if I find me in a routine. I would arrive late or at 6am - when you still need to request the office security to turn the lights on, I would finish all my tasks way early before the deadline or wait till half a second remains and lay it all on the table - with a poker face of course, talk to no one just for the heck of it or (this one's really crazy) send texts to the president of the company asking how his weekend was (and I would come as real weirdo on his birthday) because it's too much fun I can't let it pass. So in all this I thought, I am not inconsistent. I am actually consistent in behavioral fluctuations.



Let me just get rid of all the I's and me's in this egocentric entry.



Behavior is defined through an observation of repetitive occurences in a length of time. And bad or good behavior, is defined in a person's mind or sadly, by the social strata. That's why if you come as weird to somebody, it is because they see you in consideration to what that creature has been simmered to in his evolution pot. I don't want to carry on further because that would lead to criminal cases. It's bad (see?).



This is really weird.



Getting back to consistency, because I think I went haywire there with defining behavior in the hope of marrying it to the idea of good or bad, I realized, the dude is actually correct. My wife would not be happy If I just suddenly take off in the middle of changing diapers to go see "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in 3d, just for a change. I know it's extreme but it's a fun example. In fact, I am loving the repetition. Today, I woke up at 5am to go to work just as what I did for the past two weeks, happy to drive for an hour. In fact, everyday is different from any other day even if you do the same thing. Like today, when I arrived here in the office, around 630am, ready to get on my 7-3 shift I found out that I start at 815 actually. Surprise!



I should have changed the first line of this entry to something else.

And nothing happened after 3 months...

A bad thing for this blog but for us- no post-eclampsia meaning - everything is good. And the baby? She had a part of her heart underdeveloped but a few weeks later her heart matured fully so everything is absolutely fantastic. Here take a look at the rock baby:



I don't know where she got that really huge nose. Mine is "just huge". Just.

What I want to do to close this series is give out information as much as I can about pre-eclampsia. So let's get started.

1. Here's your wikipedia pre-eclampsia page. It's full of jargon though. Try reading my previous posts (aside from the nasty grammar, my wife's dread) it is pretty much like "yes, that's what it is".
2. Here's an org that I refer to during those hypertensive months - The Pre-eclampsia Foundation.
3. Did anybody say videos? Here.
4. And here's an international forum about the disease. Those are mommy forums. You know what to expect.

Aside from the hideous grammar from my previous posts (you have to understand my grammar nazi, that I was stressed-out constantly thus the grammatical stutter), the previous months that we had were more of a blessing rather than a curse. The strength that we got by being through the eye of the storm bears more weight than the agony that fell on us all of a sudden.

Thank you for all the friends that prayed, encouraged, advised, called, sms-ed and forced me to tell the story all over (and over) again (oh the pain!).

Good stuff!

I was thinking of Scrubs and how silly it is just to keep my sanity at arm's length while putting on the appropriate gear for the operating theater. My wife has had pre-eclampsia from her 27th week. She's now on her 32nd week and 22nd hour. When I came back from the locker room she wasn't there anymore and I wasn't allowed to go in the operating theater. Not yet. Not until they have given her the anesthesia for the C-section operation. Wasn't I supposed to be there when that happens?

When I stepped inside the operating theater, she was open arms and crucified to the operating table. They've put on curtains in front of her and I have to sit beside her so that we won't be able to see all the gory details. On the contrary I thought this event is a all bright and beautiful... only if everything goes perfectly well. Well, I have my doubts with the situation. She is anxious and scared. If that can trigger high blood pressure we don't want this pre-eclampsia to be the big E-clampsia. If everything goes fine, there must not be any seizures-- that can lead to coma, that can lead to -- we don't want to get there.

There were 3 Surgeons, an anesthetist, 3 observing OB doctors, 2 back-up nurses spectating on the side, another anesthetist beside us asking every couple of minutes if she's okay, another nurse beside that anesthetist and 2 pediatricians with their nurse getting ready for the baby to arrive. It was an expidition. Most of the people who are there are already close to my wife since she has stayed in the hospital for a month now. They don't want to miss out on the event, not even the pre-eclampsia researcher.

When they have stabilized wife's statistics they announced the commencement of the orchestra. It was also my cue to ask silly questions to my wife. Why did she have a lot of dandruff? Why is it when you are pregnant you seem to evolve? What's this spot on your elbow? What's this line on your arm? What's the effect of the anesthesia? All of which just to take her mind of the drilling (which I can hear clearly) and the suction of the splaterring blood and water on whatever crevices she has.

And then we heard a cry.

I didn't have the chance to get hold of myself I jumped out of my seat and there she was crying her lungs out on the doctor's hands. She was immediately grabbed by the pediatricians and I didn't know what happened next because wife pulled me back and asked me how is she? So I ran to what seems to be the slowest of time and jumped on the pediatricians corner and unsheathed my glowing Nikon D90 and kaching!!!!




I ran back to wife and showed her the picture and she was crying out for her baby. The woman wants her baby! The baby was still crying when they brought her to wife and then like magic she hushed the baby and it stopped crying. That was really something. I wonder if I can do that too.

The doctors were amazed of how little blood she shed for the operation. The operation was a success as I see the medical team exchange smiles and well dones. She was perfectly zipped-up with no complications and no signs of post-eclampsia.

Our battle with pre-eclampsia is coming down to its end. The baby's singing scared it away.

I still need to give this journey a proper close though...

I was still in the office when I received wife's call that she is going to deliver probably the following day thursday. I asked her what are the delivery complications if you have pre-eclampsia? She said, "there's nothing to worry about since they can control my blood pressure... and they're first choice even is a normal delivery. All they will do is pop my waterbag, insert a tampoon-like gel that would open my cervix, stick me with an IV that opens my cervix even more and wait for the baby to slide away." That's a big relief. And even bigger when I browsed through the net and it assured me that in these modern times (which I completely forgot that I am living in the 20th century because of the barbarity of the circumstances and the word survival) pre-eclampsia can be well managed all througout its course. You can read some here.

And so my day went on like a whistle . Like a sailing leaf through the unseen waves of the air, my mind drifted to a plateau of lightness. The sun's rays are piercing my heart with joy I bleed smiles. I am making footprints of relief - I drip of it.

Until the poetry was cut short with a shrieking mobile phone.

"Love, the doctors said if they will do the delivery tomorrow it might make matters worse so they will do that today. They are sending me now to the delivery suite. What time are you coming?" and she all blurted it all out like a fire alarm. I paused and stared at nothingness. I don't know what to think because the last time I checked I am making poems.

Back to reality. There goes gravity.

I ran to the delivery suite but I can't find her. I don't know why I am panicking. Maybe because I don't know? I mean I have no idea of what will happen. I ran back to the ward and just in time she is just going to be transfered. The doctors are very careful not to upset her because anytime her blood pressure can skyrocket to 170 over 120; the reason why she was sent to the delivery suite, she just hit the mark. Two intravenous tubes were drilled to both of her hands. One is saline because she is not allowed to eat anymore and the other is magnesium to stabilize her blood pressure. And she said magnesium makes her whole arm like an anvil and somebody's hammering on it. And there I was in the corner feeling helpless again. Another doctor came in, opened up a foil to what seems like a tampoon. She said this is going to open her cervix. They inserted another drip that will stimulate her cervix to contractions. They gave her nifedipine and labetalol for her blood pressure and they took 4 vials of blood from her. Sounds like a good trade. And then she was unconscious.

Four hours has passed when the doctors came back to check her cervix. She is already having labor pains. It was open but it wasn't open enough.

Another four hours has passed and they're back again but still the cervix is too shy. But the labor pains weren't. They're letting us know what labor pains really are.

Still another four hours and it's just too lazy to open. This time, my wife can feel the labor pains to the extreme. And her blood pressure is up the ceiling. Another dose of labetalol and nifedipine. If you have pre-eclampsia the last thing that you want to happen is a consistent hit over the 160 over 115 mark. Which lead us to this decision:

I am scared.

The doctors are saying the same thing; "we want the baby to stay longer inside your wife's womb, you know that... the longer the baby stays inside the better it will be for her". I understand that perfectly. What I can't get into my system is seeing my wife stranded in a state of distress. The bad thing with pre-eclampsia is: the mother is in danger of the unpredictable fluctuation of the blood pressure which can lead to eclampsia (seizures and coma), and the only way to cure it is to give birth BUT you just can't take the baby out because (usually) the disease hits the mum on the early days of the third trimester. In our case, my wife is just in her 31st week. That's 8-10 weeks premature. Yes there are a lot of cases that the baby is aok even if she is 7 months premature but you don't want to play with chances. Did I say earlier that I understand it perfectly? But I just can't get it.

I am exhausted.

And I shouldn't have said that. I know my wife will read of this eventually but I just don't want to let her know that i'm tired because she sees it as her fault. No pretty, that's not your fault. And let me clarify it - I am not tired of going to the hospital (and if you are somebody who is reading information that only pertains to pre-eclampsia, you can skip this domestic chit-chat) from the office everyday. Actually, the peak of my every day is driving to the hospital expecting to see you in a hospital gown without a brassiere... :) and I shouldn't have said that too. It's just plain exhausting of all the here and there while currently moving in to a new house. I am exhausted yes but I am "in heavens" when I see my wife. I should have said "in peaks" but then I shouldn't have said that either.

I am hopeful -

even when the doctors say that my wife's disease is progressing. When pre-eclampsia is progressing the protein count in the urine is going up stating that there is an imbalace in the blood system and if not treated may cause severe "stuff" (note to self : wife is reading). Why is the husband hopeful as the disease is progressing? Because the only way to stop the disease is delivering the baby. We are nearly there. My wife's protein count is at 4g which is sky high from the normal count which is 1.5g, her blood pressure is around 150/100 most of the time, and she is not feeling well all throughout the day because of the drugs. Yey. If that's not enthusiastic enough, let me say it again - yes! the baby is comiiiiinnnngggg!!!!! And no more pre-eclampsia!

If you have stumbled in this page thinking about what's the cure to preeclampsia, the most definitive answers are:

I am again frequenting www.highfiber.org and i stumbled upon this video:

Edwin San Juan



There you go with the p's and the f's. Even here in Australia, it has been known as Filo (that's what they call us here) accent. And I had that exact experience when I asked an asian nurse where the maternity section is.

Ignorant me, i've never thought that there were Filipinos doing gigs like this, aside from Navarette of course. So I looked up youtube and found this guy:

Ron Josol



Not as funny as the first guy though. I think that's sometime during the 90's.

This next comedian I reckon, is the funniest:

Jo Koy



Though he didn't say he's Filipino you can see the hints. Gay jokes? We have lots of those. They are everywhere in the Philippines. He's had an appearance in the Tonight Show and he wore some FrancisM jacket with a Philippine flag on it. He will be here in Melbourne this 20th of October. Tickets are at an affordable price that's why it's all sold out. And I can't leave my pretty wife in the hospital. We'll just watch this together in the hospital. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Since i'm sick and I don't want to muddle in hay fever for the rest of the day. Got up at 7pm and fiddled with the camera. I have zero idea in handling dslr's except from a 3 month schooling in film (which has nothing to do with stills anyway). The only thing I have in mind is: how much light do you want your camera to absorb and how fast would you want that light to cook your picture. I think that sums it all.

First I want a lot of light but just blanch the film(as if there is) a little




I think everyone who just handled an slr would likely to be tempted to take a close-up shot. Lucky me I have a good (if not unfortunate) subject:


I think it took the fly more than 5 minutes to get off it. You have to see the nasty web-tangling action. click here

And lastly, allow me and pardon me, for lack of a decent subject, to get a picture of a handsome, dashing young lad. This time I want a little bit of light but a lot of cooking time:



And a lot of headroom too. There you go. I hope I'll be ready when our little bub comes.

Dear Wife,

I know you are having a bad day so I will make a poem to make you happy and gay. And please indulge this but if you can't, you can skip this like what we do on trailers when we're watching dvds.

I know you are having a bad day
and I don't know what to say
here comes the nurse with another prick
just consider it all a tongue in cheek

you said your blood sugar is high
just wait for another meal and give it back a try
and you will see that it will surely go down
so put on a smile instead of a frown

your blood pressure too is raging
don't forget to give the nurses a paging
tell them to say a joke or two
or ask them to give you a peek-a-boo

let me just recover from this bad hay fever
so i can be with you from january to december
take it easy don't be in a hurry
everyday delayed is good for the baby

I can't take anymore of the cheese so I'll stop here.

Ideally, I wanted to write a daily blow on what wife is experiencing with pre-eclampsia but apparently she is on her 2nd week in the hospital and I can't remember what has happened to her for the last 11 days. I wanted to write everyday but I always find myself slumped on the bed after a daily 16hour routine. So on a cheap shot I will do bullets on what has happened to her:

• Nosebleed. She never had any nosebleed whatsoever throughout the pregnancy. Not until she was admitted to the hospital. I'm thinking maybe because of high blod pressure but the doctor said it's just normal with the pregnancy.
• Wild fluctuations. The highest blood pressure she's had so far is 170 over 120. It was straight from 140 0ver 90 in 2 hours time. The doctor said it is not because of what she eats but because the disease is progressing as the pregnancy is coming down to its last weeks. And that 170 over 120 is a rested blood pressure reading.
• Baby's heart rate is not responsive. This is because of the hypertension medications she's had. At 150bpm, the baby's heart rate is not responsive even though the doctors were trying to stimulate it. Not to worry said the doctor, at 150bpm the baby is doing well.
• Too tired. With a little walk from here and there she complains that she's tired. We were also told that she should have complete bed rest because of her high blood pressure.
  

If you ask me (or my wife) we don't have any clues on what's the next step. We can't tell the doctors to just let her have a C-section so that this unfortunate series of events will finish. Everyday that the baby is still inside the womb is a blessing. The doctors said that we don't want to have a premature baby. So wife should endure and yes, consider everyday as a blessing. I understand that the people in the hospital know more than we do and has had worse situations compared to ours. And so just like a broken record let me say it again - because the doctors say so.

*If you have pre-eclampsia before please do leave a message and tell us more.