Why is love important in life? what is it with that that people give up their lives for it? What is it with that feeling (i know that's an understatement) that moves people to belive, that pushes limits to making the impossible possible, to letting it consume you from head to toe. To make me write about it in full cliche yet feel that what i'm writing is worth it.
What about love?
Let me answer it otherwise. What is life without it? A woman who left her husband to enjoy the life that she wants, all play, free from love, free from responsibility, free from the agony of fights said, "i regret i ran away. Sometimes, in one of my happy nights in a hotel, i miss the feeling of hearing his footsteps crank the staircase, and then I pretend to be asleep for him to wake me with his kiss".
People who doesn't have it may say "at least i am not having problems of the heart". To consider that we are made emotional beings and to strip away an aspect of that, would mean something's lacking. Or to have it would make us feel complete.
I am pouring my heart these days because never in my life i've felt this kind of strong, urging, asserting emotion to topple a mountain just to see a single bud.
Just my 22 cents.
I am transfering the countdown of 85 days in here
hmmm. that's all. :D
Faithful.
Faith believes on what is unseen and for that matter, it’s you, it’s you and me being together, it’s the future. It should not can’t happen! Lord… I am so happy for that answered prayer that was our vacation last December. The probability of the impossibility didn’t have a chance with His capability. Tyheee! And for this 85 days too.
It feels so good hearing your voice. You are so pretty in this pic. I need to see you soon.
I’m thinking, how many times have we been separated and how many times have I had that feeling of exhilaration that I am going to see you in minutes? The vacations, the office trip, you going home, me going home to you….I hope this time it will be for good.
Faith in God is such a pretty feeling too.
P.S.
I can’t stop looking at the pic, can you please come out of this phone? Grrrrr!Everytime I meet with friends the first question is, what happened? You proposed to lei? And again and again, I will gladly share the story. So for the next question, yes I already talked to her Mom (that I call mommy too hotshot!)-- I already asked for her hand. To save me the task of retelling it over and over again, I will post it here so that next time, if somebody asks, I’ll just dish in the link. Here we go:
We’re eating in Max’s Restaurant. They were all talking except me. I’m on my cellphone texting a freelancer about an office job but partially inattentive to the text because I am thinking how to insert the topic of (inserting the topic???!) I want to marry her daughter. She has an idea. In fact, because of my excitement to do it, I told her already thru SMS. Ugh! What a nice way of doing it seigfred.
So I was in the middle of texting a reply and thinking how when her mom asked, “So what are your plans”. Instantly my spirit jumped out of its seat and I uttered, “Actually mom (genius nice intro dimwit), we are planning to get married this December, specifically December 8 and I am looking for the fastest way how to get to Aussie.”
“But I thought you already lodged your visa!” she replied.
Great work luanne. Why would you tell her that I already lodged it?
Flashback to what lei told me about a conversation with Mom in Cotabs: “Love, I don’t know what to say! She asked me out of nowhere, I was caught unaware.. and you know I’m very bad at lying and I can’t tell her we are lodging a prospective marriage visa since you haven’t asked her personally”
Actually, the December vacation was meant for that and I totally forgot about it. My fault My bad. The thought got lost when I first saw lei in the airport at Cotabs.
So back to Max’s. “I didn’t continue with the lodging Mom, because it will take me two years to get to Aussie if I get migrant visa” I said.
“I thought you lodged a tourist visa” she said.
Yup. Lei told her I lodged a tourist visa. Think seigfred think. Tourist visa is kinda not good because—
“How can you raise money for your wedding if you’re on a tourist visa? You are not allowed to work with that” she added.
So I gathered all my scattered guts from the table, breathed a very deep one and exhaled-- “I am considering this prospective marriage visa that can be approved in 6 weeks the least, 6 months the most. The good thing about it is you can work. In that way, we can raise money for this December’s wedding, if you would allow us.”
Whew! Waiting for her answer like everything is in slow motion. I don’t know if it affected her negatively. If I was in her position hmmmmm… would I be like a
What she said, unexpectedly, was this, “Are you sure with her?”
“Of course” I answered in a snap. And reinforced it with, “Your daughter is so hot I’ll marry her anytime, she is very pretty that I want to smack her with a passionate French kiss anytime, anywhere. I am so proud to have her. And she has such a very sexy bottom and I can run my fingers on her legs all day!” And after that I did somersaults at the top of the table. No I didn’t say that. And no somersaults. I wish. Although that would be being very truthful, but to avoid the prick that I am and you don’t speak to a Mom like that, I complimented it with, “I admire her being very independent and responsible. She is very sweet and caring. I am confident with her. And I think she’ll be a good Mommy.”
The following paragraph shall feature lei and is brought to you by the Sultana of Cotabato:
“Really?” Mom replied with revolt. “What I was always telling her, eversince she was a kid, that she should be responsible. You know what, I think it was also my fault for raising her very carefully. Even by just asking for water she’ll call up the maids. She was always attended to. Although we are not that well off, she is everybody’s princess in the house”, Mom added.
“I think mom, her being independent here in
By the way lei was beside me and at that moment, weeping. And it’s not because we are almost nearing our goal. “She has been telling me how immature I am since this morning. The bashing is back again and its too much for a day”, Lei whispered with little sobs.
“Ok I’ll keep quiet” Mom said.
Now wait. This was supposed to be a discussion of “I want to marry your daughter”. Weird. Lei was supposed to be crying for joy not weeping bitterly. Now everybody is quiet like that pancit canton feeling like an outcast in a team of a devour-us dinner and we suddenly got busy eating. Except for Lei. Of course I need to comfort her. But the more I rub her back the more tears are spilled. We also have to understand people, that tomorrow, lei is leaving for Aussie and maybe that’s why her mom is acting that way. That she will miss her little baby very much. Flashbacks from her birth to this time are gushing through her memory stream.
*insert Frank Sinatra tracks here*
Still eating. Still quiet. Finished eating. Still quiet.
And so I broke the silence. “But mom, are you ok with that plan? That I will get a prospective marriage visa, we will raise money for December’s wedding and then go back home here and tie the knot?”
And Mommy said “Yes.”
Let me just apply this on my face like a steamed towel:
So! you are learning how to drive next week? I thought you know how to?
Hmmm lemme check i need to raise a 100k before the end of February? so meaning i have 40+ days more. which also means i have to earn 3k+ a day.
Let's do it hahahaha!
Last night, alan told me that there's this Call Center Company that his friend is working with and he said he'll give me kicks for referals in that call center. email blast again! i had 1 referal so far. this is funny. I hope i can get more tommorow. around 50 please Lord.
Hopeless?
i don't think so.
Just a while ago Salvation Army called me up and she's planning to sell our house and that supposed to be promising lot (the one that you said it's in the right side of the road?) to a business partner. She is selling it for just a bit more than 1m. and she'll dish in a 100gran for me.
Prayer answered on day 84.
But! I will still raise that 100k. We have to make sure we can do it. i want to sweat out that kind of amount. I don't want to just bum around and wait for the fruit to fall. reach baby reach.
"i'll see you in 85 days. "
That's what you said. And in reply, let me count the days.
i 've mentioned here that i will try my best to hoard as much finances as i can. and guess what? it's fun!
Email blast to everyone entitled:
I AM GETTING MARRIED
Yup. But before that--
I want to ask a favor from you. To take the next hurdle of the goal of, yes, getting married, I will be lodging my visa at the end of February and i need to go the extra mile with regards to this.
If any of you have freelance jobs for:
- Web Content Writer/Manager - I am managing a website (in terms of content) as of this time. The url is not yet available though.
- Voice Talent/Audio Video Production - I've worked in radio for almost 10 years. Have voiced numerous commercials. My prime is more of character/drama voicing.
- Events Planning and Management - I was in theater all my high school and college years and working on and off stage is very familiar with me.
- Copywriting - I was a producer in radio and that involved a lot of scriptwriting. Currently i conceptualize, direct and manage print ads for my company which will be posted on different designated countries (which involves a lot of marketing research).
I can also do brick laying, digging a hole, carpentry, mixing cement, just not that heavy work coz i broke my back just last year (LOL).
I need (after office jobs) your help. :)
Cheers!
---------
Guess what? Someone contacted me! Here-
Shella: elo! U po b ang ngpost sa bulltn? (I forgot to tell you that Agustin, my college friend who is now in ABSCBN Productions posted the email in their company's bulletin)
Me: Hi! Im seigfred! Oo ako yun. What can i do for you?
Shella: Kc want po me sna mg -1 ng videoke sa cd. kano po ba bayad u? (huwaaaaaat??? can you please read again the email? i don't do cd transpositions, i suggested brick laying, digging holes and other brute work but this? actually i can do it if i have the machine. heehee)
Me: Ok... i'll see what i can do and ill contact you tommorow. if i can do it. i am in ortigas and i'll let you bring the videoke cd there. I am actually raising up funds for my visa, i don't do this for profit so you may pay me with any amount that pleases you.
Shella: ngek! cge try ku po
LOL crazy. i'm expecting more of it on day 84.
I remember a theater exercise called "Scene at the Airport". Its premise is; someone you value so much will be leaving and you can only say three words--"Iloveyou, thankyou and goodbye". After a twenty-minute preparation to immerse yourself in the scene and finally bring you to utter your last words, you can hear the workshop venue capsize with different weepings. Short breaths in staccato before a loud wail, crescendo cries and its opposite, the scraping of tears on a face and silent glides of breaths in the air.
I remember yesterday in the airport. Theater is theater. In reality, tears were kept in a kettle and evaporated as sighs of distress. The emotions were like crumpled paper, ironed out and stacked below a pile of books to be neatly tucked; the same with what i do with my long sleeves when i go to the office. Tucking what you really feel so as not to contribute with the sadness that is shrieked by the planes. I had dry eyes yesterday while having a big lump in my throat. Hugs and kisses were the only words I said.
I remember she would run around the room like it was a big football field and i am concentrating so much on the TV so as not to tell her how much i enjoy her being insane. She, being sick and crying for all the reasons that she doesn't feel good. Her look before going to the office that makes me want us to stay in the house instead.
It was to us a long long time ago.
I remember as if it's not in my mind all the time.
Once upon a time. A good way to start a story.
*shakes off snow*
halo blog
:)
happy new year
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the first one we were praying for every night for 4 months is a Christmas vacation with both families. here's God's answer:
Dec 23-26
i arrived in cotabato noontime and found out that the weather, which made me feel like a vampire, isn't celebrating the holidays. but my gift, who was walking across the street, wrapped in ribbons of longing made me feel that indeed it is Christmas. yes my little zerglings, i still write gooey mozarellas.
a short kiss wasn't what i expected of a welcome from her but the folks are around and we can't do anything more than to imagine and wish we could do a cinematic french kiss in public (with all the men in uniform with long barrels ready to chop your body to smitherins if you do something silly, who the heck in their sane mind would have the intention to do something abnormal). yes, i am old enough to do it but there are buts.
*ka-tsak from a 45*
i fumbled. don't ask. i don't want to humiliate myself in cyberspace.
we're engaged :) so here's to all a'you who still feel it's christmas:
Merry Christmas!!!!!
now that i'm back in the soberburbs, time really moves very slow. but i don't mind. if time is moving like a snail, spending time with *long gooey mozarella stretching to both sidebars of this blog* her is the first and last thing i would do as long as i *man this is cheesy as mucus, sip!* breathe...
I love Davao. the best thing that happened there is a beautiful picture of us in a place called "Kinilaw". that's raw fish simmered in hellish vinegar with red chilli pepper wiggling in a plate like a demon's tail. love, where are the pictures? tuna slices are as big as ostriches i tell you. hmmm australia :(
Dec 27-30
My turn. Iloilo smells different this time. And the weather is entirely opposite of that from her turf. hehee we're back again in the same roof. been wanting for this for soooo long. like 2 weeks? I've never had this kind of longing so please pricks give me some pompoms so i can do a sommersault. hurah. hurah. (this feels so weird, making a diary out of a blog) . I had learned a lot of things while having her beside me with my family. but i don't want any of you people to look inside the flowery curtains of my masculinity. ahihihihi.
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