Ciggy Ciggy!

I was thinking of Scrubs and how silly it is just to keep my sanity at arm's length while putting on the appropriate gear for the operating theater. My wife has had pre-eclampsia from her 27th week. She's now on her 32nd week and 22nd hour. When I came back from the locker room she wasn't there anymore and I wasn't allowed to go in the operating theater. Not yet. Not until they have given her the anesthesia for the C-section operation. Wasn't I supposed to be there when that happens?

When I stepped inside the operating theater, she was open arms and crucified to the operating table. They've put on curtains in front of her and I have to sit beside her so that we won't be able to see all the gory details. On the contrary I thought this event is a all bright and beautiful... only if everything goes perfectly well. Well, I have my doubts with the situation. She is anxious and scared. If that can trigger high blood pressure we don't want this pre-eclampsia to be the big E-clampsia. If everything goes fine, there must not be any seizures-- that can lead to coma, that can lead to -- we don't want to get there.

There were 3 Surgeons, an anesthetist, 3 observing OB doctors, 2 back-up nurses spectating on the side, another anesthetist beside us asking every couple of minutes if she's okay, another nurse beside that anesthetist and 2 pediatricians with their nurse getting ready for the baby to arrive. It was an expidition. Most of the people who are there are already close to my wife since she has stayed in the hospital for a month now. They don't want to miss out on the event, not even the pre-eclampsia researcher.

When they have stabilized wife's statistics they announced the commencement of the orchestra. It was also my cue to ask silly questions to my wife. Why did she have a lot of dandruff? Why is it when you are pregnant you seem to evolve? What's this spot on your elbow? What's this line on your arm? What's the effect of the anesthesia? All of which just to take her mind of the drilling (which I can hear clearly) and the suction of the splaterring blood and water on whatever crevices she has.

And then we heard a cry.

I didn't have the chance to get hold of myself I jumped out of my seat and there she was crying her lungs out on the doctor's hands. She was immediately grabbed by the pediatricians and I didn't know what happened next because wife pulled me back and asked me how is she? So I ran to what seems to be the slowest of time and jumped on the pediatricians corner and unsheathed my glowing Nikon D90 and kaching!!!!




I ran back to wife and showed her the picture and she was crying out for her baby. The woman wants her baby! The baby was still crying when they brought her to wife and then like magic she hushed the baby and it stopped crying. That was really something. I wonder if I can do that too.

The doctors were amazed of how little blood she shed for the operation. The operation was a success as I see the medical team exchange smiles and well dones. She was perfectly zipped-up with no complications and no signs of post-eclampsia.

Our battle with pre-eclampsia is coming down to its end. The baby's singing scared it away.

I still need to give this journey a proper close though...

I was still in the office when I received wife's call that she is going to deliver probably the following day thursday. I asked her what are the delivery complications if you have pre-eclampsia? She said, "there's nothing to worry about since they can control my blood pressure... and they're first choice even is a normal delivery. All they will do is pop my waterbag, insert a tampoon-like gel that would open my cervix, stick me with an IV that opens my cervix even more and wait for the baby to slide away." That's a big relief. And even bigger when I browsed through the net and it assured me that in these modern times (which I completely forgot that I am living in the 20th century because of the barbarity of the circumstances and the word survival) pre-eclampsia can be well managed all througout its course. You can read some here.

And so my day went on like a whistle . Like a sailing leaf through the unseen waves of the air, my mind drifted to a plateau of lightness. The sun's rays are piercing my heart with joy I bleed smiles. I am making footprints of relief - I drip of it.

Until the poetry was cut short with a shrieking mobile phone.

"Love, the doctors said if they will do the delivery tomorrow it might make matters worse so they will do that today. They are sending me now to the delivery suite. What time are you coming?" and she all blurted it all out like a fire alarm. I paused and stared at nothingness. I don't know what to think because the last time I checked I am making poems.

Back to reality. There goes gravity.

I ran to the delivery suite but I can't find her. I don't know why I am panicking. Maybe because I don't know? I mean I have no idea of what will happen. I ran back to the ward and just in time she is just going to be transfered. The doctors are very careful not to upset her because anytime her blood pressure can skyrocket to 170 over 120; the reason why she was sent to the delivery suite, she just hit the mark. Two intravenous tubes were drilled to both of her hands. One is saline because she is not allowed to eat anymore and the other is magnesium to stabilize her blood pressure. And she said magnesium makes her whole arm like an anvil and somebody's hammering on it. And there I was in the corner feeling helpless again. Another doctor came in, opened up a foil to what seems like a tampoon. She said this is going to open her cervix. They inserted another drip that will stimulate her cervix to contractions. They gave her nifedipine and labetalol for her blood pressure and they took 4 vials of blood from her. Sounds like a good trade. And then she was unconscious.

Four hours has passed when the doctors came back to check her cervix. She is already having labor pains. It was open but it wasn't open enough.

Another four hours has passed and they're back again but still the cervix is too shy. But the labor pains weren't. They're letting us know what labor pains really are.

Still another four hours and it's just too lazy to open. This time, my wife can feel the labor pains to the extreme. And her blood pressure is up the ceiling. Another dose of labetalol and nifedipine. If you have pre-eclampsia the last thing that you want to happen is a consistent hit over the 160 over 115 mark. Which lead us to this decision:

I am scared.

The doctors are saying the same thing; "we want the baby to stay longer inside your wife's womb, you know that... the longer the baby stays inside the better it will be for her". I understand that perfectly. What I can't get into my system is seeing my wife stranded in a state of distress. The bad thing with pre-eclampsia is: the mother is in danger of the unpredictable fluctuation of the blood pressure which can lead to eclampsia (seizures and coma), and the only way to cure it is to give birth BUT you just can't take the baby out because (usually) the disease hits the mum on the early days of the third trimester. In our case, my wife is just in her 31st week. That's 8-10 weeks premature. Yes there are a lot of cases that the baby is aok even if she is 7 months premature but you don't want to play with chances. Did I say earlier that I understand it perfectly? But I just can't get it.

I am exhausted.

And I shouldn't have said that. I know my wife will read of this eventually but I just don't want to let her know that i'm tired because she sees it as her fault. No pretty, that's not your fault. And let me clarify it - I am not tired of going to the hospital (and if you are somebody who is reading information that only pertains to pre-eclampsia, you can skip this domestic chit-chat) from the office everyday. Actually, the peak of my every day is driving to the hospital expecting to see you in a hospital gown without a brassiere... :) and I shouldn't have said that too. It's just plain exhausting of all the here and there while currently moving in to a new house. I am exhausted yes but I am "in heavens" when I see my wife. I should have said "in peaks" but then I shouldn't have said that either.

I am hopeful -

even when the doctors say that my wife's disease is progressing. When pre-eclampsia is progressing the protein count in the urine is going up stating that there is an imbalace in the blood system and if not treated may cause severe "stuff" (note to self : wife is reading). Why is the husband hopeful as the disease is progressing? Because the only way to stop the disease is delivering the baby. We are nearly there. My wife's protein count is at 4g which is sky high from the normal count which is 1.5g, her blood pressure is around 150/100 most of the time, and she is not feeling well all throughout the day because of the drugs. Yey. If that's not enthusiastic enough, let me say it again - yes! the baby is comiiiiinnnngggg!!!!! And no more pre-eclampsia!

If you have stumbled in this page thinking about what's the cure to preeclampsia, the most definitive answers are:

I am again frequenting www.highfiber.org and i stumbled upon this video:

Edwin San Juan



There you go with the p's and the f's. Even here in Australia, it has been known as Filo (that's what they call us here) accent. And I had that exact experience when I asked an asian nurse where the maternity section is.

Ignorant me, i've never thought that there were Filipinos doing gigs like this, aside from Navarette of course. So I looked up youtube and found this guy:

Ron Josol



Not as funny as the first guy though. I think that's sometime during the 90's.

This next comedian I reckon, is the funniest:

Jo Koy



Though he didn't say he's Filipino you can see the hints. Gay jokes? We have lots of those. They are everywhere in the Philippines. He's had an appearance in the Tonight Show and he wore some FrancisM jacket with a Philippine flag on it. He will be here in Melbourne this 20th of October. Tickets are at an affordable price that's why it's all sold out. And I can't leave my pretty wife in the hospital. We'll just watch this together in the hospital. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Since i'm sick and I don't want to muddle in hay fever for the rest of the day. Got up at 7pm and fiddled with the camera. I have zero idea in handling dslr's except from a 3 month schooling in film (which has nothing to do with stills anyway). The only thing I have in mind is: how much light do you want your camera to absorb and how fast would you want that light to cook your picture. I think that sums it all.

First I want a lot of light but just blanch the film(as if there is) a little




I think everyone who just handled an slr would likely to be tempted to take a close-up shot. Lucky me I have a good (if not unfortunate) subject:


I think it took the fly more than 5 minutes to get off it. You have to see the nasty web-tangling action. click here

And lastly, allow me and pardon me, for lack of a decent subject, to get a picture of a handsome, dashing young lad. This time I want a little bit of light but a lot of cooking time:



And a lot of headroom too. There you go. I hope I'll be ready when our little bub comes.

Dear Wife,

I know you are having a bad day so I will make a poem to make you happy and gay. And please indulge this but if you can't, you can skip this like what we do on trailers when we're watching dvds.

I know you are having a bad day
and I don't know what to say
here comes the nurse with another prick
just consider it all a tongue in cheek

you said your blood sugar is high
just wait for another meal and give it back a try
and you will see that it will surely go down
so put on a smile instead of a frown

your blood pressure too is raging
don't forget to give the nurses a paging
tell them to say a joke or two
or ask them to give you a peek-a-boo

let me just recover from this bad hay fever
so i can be with you from january to december
take it easy don't be in a hurry
everyday delayed is good for the baby

I can't take anymore of the cheese so I'll stop here.

Ideally, I wanted to write a daily blow on what wife is experiencing with pre-eclampsia but apparently she is on her 2nd week in the hospital and I can't remember what has happened to her for the last 11 days. I wanted to write everyday but I always find myself slumped on the bed after a daily 16hour routine. So on a cheap shot I will do bullets on what has happened to her:

• Nosebleed. She never had any nosebleed whatsoever throughout the pregnancy. Not until she was admitted to the hospital. I'm thinking maybe because of high blod pressure but the doctor said it's just normal with the pregnancy.
• Wild fluctuations. The highest blood pressure she's had so far is 170 over 120. It was straight from 140 0ver 90 in 2 hours time. The doctor said it is not because of what she eats but because the disease is progressing as the pregnancy is coming down to its last weeks. And that 170 over 120 is a rested blood pressure reading.
• Baby's heart rate is not responsive. This is because of the hypertension medications she's had. At 150bpm, the baby's heart rate is not responsive even though the doctors were trying to stimulate it. Not to worry said the doctor, at 150bpm the baby is doing well.
• Too tired. With a little walk from here and there she complains that she's tired. We were also told that she should have complete bed rest because of her high blood pressure.
  

If you ask me (or my wife) we don't have any clues on what's the next step. We can't tell the doctors to just let her have a C-section so that this unfortunate series of events will finish. Everyday that the baby is still inside the womb is a blessing. The doctors said that we don't want to have a premature baby. So wife should endure and yes, consider everyday as a blessing. I understand that the people in the hospital know more than we do and has had worse situations compared to ours. And so just like a broken record let me say it again - because the doctors say so.

*If you have pre-eclampsia before please do leave a message and tell us more.

"I think I can fill up this 3-liter container of a day's pee". That's what she said when we were heading home from the hospital yesterday. And true enough, she did. Well not really to the brim but yes it was a lot of pee. I was wondering myself why that many? Well as the doctor explained, pre-eclampsia damages the lining of blood vessels and when they are severed, proteins leak out and it's the kidneys job to get them out of the system - thus the urine that can run your 4-valve engine up to the nearest shop.

SUNDAY, DAY 2

We just got back from Harvey Norman. Yes. (!) We got the laptop and the pretty DSLR that I was talking about from a previous post. Before we got home she was complaining of a headache that she has eversince she woke up this morning. She slumped on the bed the moment we arrived home. After a while she said "love... can we go back to the hospital?". I told her to let me just take a quick shower since I stink of salmon from Springvale. Or that's what I thought because the next thing I know is we are on our way to the hospital and I don't need a net or a rod to announce that I am a fisherman.

"You made the right decision" said the midwife, who was a scot, that's why I was still figuring out what she said (no offense on that one, i love the scots, i am just dyslexic with accents). My wife's BP shot up again up to 160 over 112. On a note, if you have high blood pressure when you are pregnant it doesn't mean that you have pre-eclampsia because there is also gestational hypertension which is the same as gestational diabetes. Both happen when you are pregnant and could easily leave as soon as you give birth. The midwife confirmed that it was pretty much pre-eclampsia because of the result from the 4 vials of blood that we deposited yesterday and a high protein count in that 3-liter pee.

After 3 hours her BP was teetering between 150 and 160. I was asked to get clothes because she may be admitted until they get the baby out. I wanted to freak out but they informed me in a very calm manner. I am screaming in my mind. I can see fear in my wife's eyes. If only pre-eclampsia was a person, I am ready to get jailed for manslaughter.

Have you had an experience where you are driving on the one lane and the car ahead of you is imagining a funeral traffic? And then your phone rings and your wife said an ambulance arrived because they will be transferring her to a level 3 hospital because they lack facilities there. I am always courteous on the road so I persevered the agony behind the little cooper. Not until I've had enough of it or say 60 seconds?

I was very confused when I got back to her room. She got iv'd with magnesium on the left hand to control her BP, water on the right hand for hydration and two tubes into the bladder through her little pee hole to monitor protein leak. If you're a woman you are definitely sure that it's not the man-hole. If you are an ignorant ape like me, now you know. I felt helpless as I hear my wife crying in pain. I can't ask the midwives because they were still busy inserting tubes and needles and what-nots. I stood there with a faint clue of what's happening and that includes her clothes that I brought to the hospital. I didn't even know I was in a frozen shock... not until Phil, the ambulance driver told me to go ahead to Monash Medical Center so I can catch up with the ambulance.

What happens if you have pre-eclampsia? That's the question running in my mind while I race past the lights in an empty freeway to Monash. Is it that serious that the midwives in the hospital are in a frenzy to transfer her to a level 3 medical center? I remember a story my wife told me about a few months ago. She has a friend who was pregnant and couldn't care to go to the doctor (or a midwife) for a prenatal. 7 months into the pregnancy she was admitted to the hospital because she dropped unconscious and had seizures. When she arrived in the hospital the doctors can't open her up and get the baby because her blood pressure was too high. It would cost her her life if that happens. My wife, the only kind friend who showed up in the hospital (and raised money for her) saw how the baby was panicking inside the womb. It was kicking as if it wants to go out. In the end she lost her bub and she got into a coma for 8 weeks.

If that was pre-eclampsia we need all the prayers from everyone.

I was already there when my wife arrived with a dizzy bag in hand. I had a hint that she enjoyed the ambulance ride. They tucked her into a nice, neat bed and minutes later she was fast asleep. I was just looking at her with all those tubes. She will be okay I told myself. Victoria has the best natal care in the country a friend told me. "She will be alright" were the words that is on a loop in my head as I waited for sunrise.

*sniff*

*sniff*

I still stink of fish.

My wife has pre-eclampsia. That's why I will be writing this bit for the next days in this blog. On her first day in the hospital a researcher came over and told her about their research on eclampsia. The student from Monash University said that it will help greatly in the cause of discovering what eclampsia is, how it develops and how to prevent it in the future because currently; there are no concrete findings on the causes of eclampsia. My wife gladly signed the waiver to donate a part of her placenta because she would rather use it for research than for skin creams. And I will also do my part so that moms-to-be will have a lay-man's reference if they will also come across something we just stumbled upon during her 28th week.

How do you discover if you have pre-eclampsia? You wouldn't unless you go to your doctor regularly. My wife was perfectly healthy during our last visit to our ob specialist that's why we decided to go for a public hospital midwife since we are also thinking of sparing finances for pink prams and indestructible baby beds or whatever they call it. You know what i'm talking about if you are a first time mom like my wife.

SATURDAY DAY 1

During our first visit to the midwives we were expecting it to be just a breeze since we are excited to get that 50 months interest free from Harvey Norman. A laptop and a DSLR wouldn't be that heavy if you are dishing in $80 every month would it? So she sat down to have her blood pressure checked by the very accommodating midwives. Looking at her doing the BP reading for the third time alarmed me a little bit. Hearing her saying, "you have to go to the hospital for a more thorough check because you may be at risk of pre-eclampsia" turned-up that alarm sound on maximum. Here are a few risks. And as a disclaimer these are not accurate reasons for you to qualify pre-eclampsia in your paranoia.

1. Her feet are swollen. I thought it was just normal if you are pregnant.
2. Her blood pressure is 150 over 100. Normally it would just be 130 over 90.
3. She also has gestational diabetes.

"Funny," my wife said, "I don't feel anything at all, well aside from a little bit of burning sensation on the ears, but I think we may still be able to rush to Harvey Norman." Unfortunately the whole hospital check ran for 6 hours. Four vials of blood was taken from her for checking, the baby's heart rate and movement was monitored while her blood pressure was checked every hour. Her blood pressure went down to 130 over 90 and the doctor told us to go home and get rest. She was given a 3 liter container for her to fill up whenever she pees. It was already 6 pm. I was so disappointed that I told her off for not exercising and just sleeping most of the time during the pregnancy. Which is absolutely wrong. Because pre-eclampsia (as of today's findings) has no known cause. No matter how careful you are, if it hits you, it hits you. So nobody has the right to blame you if you have it, not even yourself.

I just made her cry. I feel so guilty. And you never make a pregnant woman feel bad because they will literally cry over spilled milk. How could you Ciggy.

**One week has passed since she has been admitted to the hospital. And since I have been busy doing an office-hospital-home schedule everyday, I will postpone day 2 for tomorrow and I'll tell you about that three liter pee container**