this is great. really.---life.
since this blog is named auditorium (which i really haven't explained why until...now), because life is one big rehearsal of what will be forever. right now i am gathering the pages of the script of Act II of my life. so i am going to start in the middle of the beggining
Cast:
Louie Anne
Ciggy Boy
Partial Summary (?)
Well as of this time. Ciggy is suffering from quarter life crisis (if ever there is) and Louie is having quite a hard time figuring out how to comfort him from time to time. Ciggy and Louie have a lot of secret plans which will be revealed later, depending if those secrets will take place. but the supposed to be not-scary evident thing is, Louie will be leaving for Australia and Ciggy wouldn't want to be far away from her, so he is, as if calm but frantic in looking for jobs in Australia. not only that, he is looking for a lot of ways in going with Louie there. every possible thing. He doesn't want to tell Louie to stay because before he was there, the passion to leave for Aussie has embraced her. so in short, this is the part of the script which we will call -
"The Impending Australian Hitch"
Script Confetti 1
INT. AT THE UPPER ROOM (CIGGY BOY'S MAKATI FLAT)
Louie has fallen asleep, ciggy is feeling sad for no particular reason. maybe with his job in which he has been screwing up lately, or maybe louie fell asleep because she's dead drunk and ciggy has no one to talk to or maybe he's thinking of the day that Louie will leave for australia or just maybe it's raining and his quarter life melancholic crisis has sunk like a dried leaf in the gutter stampede by running water.
CIGGY
Love... i can't sleep and i don't know why i feel bad.
LOUIE
(snoring)
CIGGY
Love... (falling off the pillow and lies on his back while caressing louie's hand with his which is under her neck) please... i can't sleep
LOUIE
hmmmm (and snores)
(ciggy gets out of the mattress, goes to the window, opens the jalousie and stares at the lines that the rain has drawn on an urban picture for 5 minutes with a heavy face, and goes back to bed)
CIGGY
Love...please wake up i can't sleep i feel bad i dont know why.
LOUIE
(grunts, gets up, goes to the loo and goes back to bed, spreads her left arm and signals ciggy to sleep in her arms and so he did) why?
CIGGY
i don't know. i have this anxiety attack again. i'm sorry if i am this these days.
LOUIE
(groggy, tipsy, drunk) what do you want me to do?
CIGGY
Just be here
LOUIE
i am always here
(silence for a moment)
LOUIE
Go to sleep
CIGGY
(deep breath)
(fade up sound of rain drumming the roof)
***
Script Confetti 2
INT. AT THE HIDEAWAY (LOUIE ANNE'S QC FLAT)
On the bed with HBO acting like a radio because neither of them wanted to watch TV but decided to just turn it on for whatever's sake.
LOUIE
I don't want to be away from you
CIGGY
What else can we do?
LOUIE
If ever i'l go to Ausie without you i will try my darndest best to get you there the fastest time
CIGGY
that's why we've been passing my resume to every possible employer so that we can leave together
LOUIE
pray pray pray
CIGGY
I'll try my best to do a lot of things for Aussie this week. if you're already in Aussie and if a year has passed and am still not there, i want your butt back here.
LOUIE
because?
CIGGY
we'll get married
LOUIE
(smiles) for sure. i'll go home. am excited.
CIGGY
so am i
(TV sound fades out as if the tv is turned off)
let me draw a line. a timeline of my life. but since it would take me forever to paint it with words, let me start the dot with today and i'll flash cards from then, now and that which is to be visible yet.
she came : i found her
the line went crazy, the horizontal stiff of my existence became scribbles of a 1 year old. and for the first time ever in my life i gasped out these words -- this is hardly easy.
step on
a different set of tiles.
first of all i have to deal with what i left before pressing on. leaving something especially if it is what your life is, isn't easy. you pick yourself from your usual sidewalk and put him to a different pavement. what i had was like walking on the same street everyday then suddenly i found myself treading on water with the vast ocean up ahead. and i must know where to go.
hold on
a compass of a supernatural direction.
i have no plans of leaving the country. really. but here i am everyday praying to go. my compass is made up of a smile, a misty eye, and sounds a lot like a puppy with ADHD syndrome, even if she's silent at times. since i've held on to her i don't want to let go. and she points to impossible. but i have to familiarize myself with the supernatural. coz in the first place she came from it and she is the being of it. i can't explain it in words. it's difficult to describe. but it's a heart-filling gibberish that i understand a lot because it transcends communication. that's where i get my directions.
keep on
a time that never tells
the truth is. whether i go with her or not, she will go. whether we like it or not. that's why we are on it everyday. my hitch of a lifetime. grr i can't write anymore of this.
as i've said this is hardly easy.
putting your life to an uncertainty of where and when which is exactly the opposite of the certainty of what you feel.
but there, is always the supernatural. there, is always her. there, is always me.
on and
on it.
and my timeline marks the beginning of forever.
i want this blog to have a more professional appeal. to discard mash potato entries and other what-nots for someone who already spent a fourth of his life. i want to talk about grown up stuffs.
i remember the movie clueless. i was in my teens when alicia silverstone graced our imaginations. teehee. i remember the movie because i nevertheless agree with luis' observation who is also in the same situation that it feels like high school again. so, highschool. gleeful derangement, where to go, what to do, learning, everyday new discoveries. but wait.
before this overwhelming feeling i was that grown up dude that i imagined when i was a kid. i'm the guy who thought about nothing but how to be (allow me to use this word mr. pricipal) an elegant bachelor.
this blog could use a different look.
but it wouldn't be the me that is me right now. since i grew up in a church, literally, i'm your samuel boy, i even enrolled in a seminary, i called my ever-faithful minister (i do this whenever i feel like am in a place where i've never been before and since this time i feel like it's high school days all over again), i picked up the phone and asked him "is this what you want with my life?" and he said "i put you in that place because that's your purpose".
*insert halcyon days by quentin*
boy am i giddy. that dude up there really knows how to put us in the right places. i love everything now. even the flowers and the birds and the bees.
and there you have it, another not so grown up entry in this blog.
and oh, i have the minister's phone number here if someone wants to ask high school questions.